well heres hoping this worked. I have never loaded pictures on this site. Chances are you guys have all seen these on my fb. Aren't they just the best?? It was not bad at all getting this tattoo. I had myself so freaked out about getting. I was thinking the pain would be sooooo awful, but it wasn't! The pain I did have was well worth it. I love love love this tattoo! I think it's the best one yet! I will so be back to Jeff the artist. I told him how I had to hunt him down. lol, I found his profile on another tattoos shop website. He had worked for them and then went somewhere else because the 13 shades treated him badly. He is an awsome guy, but he doesn't say much.
Bailey was sick all night last night throwing up. She didn't do to good today but didn't throw up very much. While I was gone Libby came over and got her to eat a couple of saltines. She is feeling a little better this afternoon. My poor baby. Wayne is very frusrated at how many times we have had the flu sence we have been here. It does suck, he was up with her until 5 this morning. Sorry Wayne!
Gale did not get his surgery like he was supposed to on thursday. Geneva did not give him in enama. They didn't tell the Dr so when they went in they discovered his bowls packed. What a waste of time for everyone. I have not talked to her much cause it made me so damned mad!
Wayne now has the official title of chemical manager at work. He was also offered another job at a big fruit company because he holds a hvc license. They didn't have anyone who had that and so got introuble. Wayne isn't interested for some reason. Maybe cause he is loyal to JMC.
As for me I am just doing the same thing as always. Doin daycare at life quest. I do like it and love the paycheck. I have to start over saving for my eye surgery. That sucks big time but the vacation I used it for was worth it. And before I can save for my eyes we have to save for Killians four wheeler because Wayne promised him one for moving onto first grade.couldn't he have promised him a go at chuckee cheese? ugg.

do I or don't I?

well once again I am considering canceling this blod. I have had a whole eight views since January. I am not sure if this is worth talking about myself. I spose maybe that # is based off my followers. Anybody know?

This post would be so much longer had I written it when I intended to. But because I was lazy we will see what it ends up being.
Vacation went very very well. Or so I thought. The kids and I had a blast. Wayne did not. He came back home as stressed as he had been before we left. Sorry dear :(. The kids did SO good all the hours we were in the car. It wasn't until Wednesday (we'd left Saturday) that Killian started acting up. Then on the way back home he TALKED THE INTIRE WAY HOME!!! But that's way ahead of where I am going with this right now.
The first day we spent going to Oak Harbor WA. We got lost for an hour in Seattle before we made our way back to the right exit. That so sucked! But we got through it with a few fowl words under our tongues. We staid with my Aunt Lilly who adores Wayne and Wayne likes her as well. Wayne learned quickly what a kick in the ass this side of my family reakky are. They were awesome. The house was AMAZING (I was going to take pictures but time got away from me)!! It was by no means kid proof. Not a big deal my kids are a bit older and pretty good. The problem was the amount of glass in this intire huge home. EVERYTHING was glass! Tables tons of glass tables! It got very tiring chasing and yelling at the kids. The upper floor had wood flooring so it echoed something awful. Killian and Bailey took full advantage of this. The time we spent there was short but wonderful. Wayne got to meet my dads family after 13 years of being together. My Aunt is 88 so I hope she will live to be 100 because the kids are gonna have to older before we take them back!
Seaside was the next stop. The very bad thing about this drive was I was sick the intire way!!! I had been so hungry at breakfast that by the time we ate I still had to go throw up. I thought for sure once my tummy was full and I felt fine driving would be ok. I was ever so wrong. I had my head hung out the window through most of seattle. I was one green girl. The only other time I have been THAT sick was when I was preggers with Killian. That freaked me the hell out. I had my tubes tied TWICE. No kidden. The Dr made damned sure there was no chance of another pregnancy. So I knew that it was just me being a wussy on the road.
Seaside was wonderful. Seaside holds a special place for me and Wayne. It was were we first stayed on our honeymoon. We haven't been able to get back there. So we went and were able to stay in the same hotel from 7 years ago. Only with 2 kids in tow this time. The view was amazing. The ocean was right out our window! Seaside for us isn't somewhere we want to spend much time only because there isn't alot to do there. so just the night worked great.
Off to Lincoln the next day. We rented a cabin at the KOA there. We've done this a few times. This time I upgraded and got a 2 room one. I didn't know what one looked like but with the amound of blankets and suitcases we had I figured the extra room would be handy. And it was. It was much nicer to have abit of breathing space between 4 people. In a 1 room cabin that just doesn't happen. WE staid 3 nights (and Killian fellout of bed all 3). WE drove to Depo Bay and Newport then back again for 3 days. We found beaches and sealions and candy shops. We even stopped in at 2 light houses.
I thought it was a fun vacation. To top it off on the way back home we went to the Portland Zoo. First we got lost for an hour in Portland..it was HOT. WE were drinched by the time we left and couldnt get to a change of clothes. Ick. We ate at the grill there at the zoo. It was spendy and the food not worth the money. It wasn't bad food. It just wasn't what I expected..and not as much as I thought we should have gotten. But we got full and thats what counted. I do have 1 complaint though-if you wanted a pop refill you had 2 pay a buck!!! We were hot and thirsty. we could have easly gone through 3 pops each. But we didn't, we made the one drink last.
Oh yes there was a funny moment when leaving Glenden beach we got attacked by crows!!! WE must have been near their nests cause they were dive bombing us! They came within inches of us. We ran to the truck as fast as we could! Wayne being the macho man he is was spouting off what he would do to the next crow who came after him. It was pretty funny.
So here we are back home. Baileys toe healed while we were gone. She has an apointment in about an hour and a half with the foot Dr. I am feeling stupid taking her in. At least he can look at her toenail. This morning I noticed that the toenail is coming off. Maybe he can remove it. Or maybe it will get a bandaid until it comes off by itself. Either way...yuck...
OHHHH it was my b-day Friday. It sucked as it always does. We had pizza for dinner and lemon pie for after. My present is the new tattoo that will be on my arm by the end of the week :).
I talked to my grandma this weekend. I heard she fell again on the arm that has bone cancer. She fractured it and they now have her on heavy pain killers. She was on pain killers before because bone cancer hurts so bad (doesn't all cancer?). She wants me to come see her. I will as soon as I can afford too. Vi is still trying to get me to go when all the girls (my 3 sisters)will be there. Not interested. I just don't feel like they are family. They are so MORMON! Then there is me. I don't belong on that side and that is for sure!
Ok one last thing-yesterday while grocery shopping with my hubby and kids I saw who I thought was my brothers wife. Right across from us in the other lane checking out. I wispered to Wayne " I think thats my brothers wife Debbie!! I'm sure of it!" Wayne looked but had never met either one of them . I was so sure. She is small and has a pointy face. Not one thats forgotten. Very skinny woman. Then we looked at the man. Well he was big and round like me brother...the problem was I couldn't really remember what cecil looked like!!! I was pretty sure it was them. I got home texted my niece she texted her dad and we found out that it had been my brother. I haven't seen cecil for 7 years. And then it was only a glance. Before that I was 21. So that would have been another 6. See how close my family is? Cecil I understand lives not far from where I live. I have never once wanted to call up and say hi. Just like my sisters, he might as well be dead. It was just a trip that all the time we've been here and as big a place as this is I saw him for the first time in 13 years up close. Lets make it a never again this time around.
O.k so that was still pretty long. I promise I will learn to start putting pictures in. Blogs are so much better with pictures!!

Here we are getting ready to go on vacation!! It's going to be great!EXCEPT for Baileys tantrums. I have had all I can take. It's every damned day. Tonight she through a good one when she went to bed. I had to put her in her room and walk away. I am so fucking sick of it!! The fighting my two do is awful as well. I thought having them close together would be a good thing. It hasn't been. It is so hard being a mom!
Last years vacation was awful with all the melt downs. I swore I wouldn't do it again till Bailey was done taking naps. Well here are again going. It is a much needed vacation. I just hope the kids can mind this time. Last year I left everybody at the cabin and drove around by myself to cool off. I just hope this year will not be the same..if it is i'm gonna have a long cry!
I am very excited to go. Everybody gets to meet my Aunt Lilly. She is my most favorite person in the whole world. I wish I could be like her. I have to much of a big mouth for that and it isn't going to change.
I have to say tomarrow morning is going to suck. Wayne has to work till 2am and we are getting up at 6:30. Needless to say I will be driving. But I like to drive anyways.The kids have there dvd player so all is good there. Or should be. We have sooooo much stuff to take. It's crazy! But we are staying at a KOA camping cabin and you have to provide all the bedding and what not. We take a feather bed so it takes up a ton of room. There beds are awful!! This year I got a 2 room cabin hoping it will provide us with a little more space for all our suitcases. They are REALLY tiny, Not anywhere you can sit around and really enjoy the inside. It's just for sleeping and thats it. The outside isn't to bad. Theres a lovely swing and a bbq that we only use for marshmellows.
Well keeps your fingers crossed for me!

So here we are down to 4 days left of school!!! I am very excited for Killian to get to move forward. I cried when his teacher told me he wasn't being held back!!! I am just so proud of him! Mrs. Aldrich and I had had a meeting last trimester. She had said unless Killian had a GREAT amount of progress he would be held back. I was crushed. I was upset. Both Wayne and I just knew Killian would be held back. Killian had so many issues in kindergarten up to this point. We just didn't feel he was ready to move on. Both Wayne and I were held back in kindergarten. It didn't make me feel ANY better. I didn't want Killian to continue this curse of his parents. Wayne had told Killian (BAD!BAD!WAYNE!)during some part of the year that if Killian passed Kindergarten he would get him a 4 wheeler. I think Killian was supposed to have his phone # memorized too. Anyways now Wayne has to pay up!!! OK. back on track now- So I decided to call Mr's Aldrich cause I didn't know if my kid was moving on or what. She told me Killian did a complete turn around!!! Behaviour is now great, keeps on task, focuses, wants to learn AND be apart of whats going on. It was ALOT for Killian to improve on and BAM he did it!! I don't take any credit for it either. I think Killian had to decide he when he was ready. No matter what we were sayin or what we offered was helping. Hell we even offered slurpys if he'd just try to do his spelling quizzes (and he still won't do them)!Oh and FYI if you have a 7 11 they might sell the metal slurpy straws. They are big and pretty cool! Man they get cold!! Anyways all I can say is-my son did it!! I am sad they don't get a little ceremony. Someone said it was to much work. WTF? I hope that wasn't why they chose not to. I would have loved to have gone. I have a beaming smile a mile wide anyways!

So I am now trying a new med. So far it's well....not sure. I feel somewhat better and can somewhat deal with things a bit better. I do have someways to go. I am just getting used to this med. I might not even stay on it. It makes me jittery. It's driving me nuts. It's time released and that alone is making it hard to figure out the best time to take it. It knocks my ass out!! Only with this one the last couple of nights I have noticed that when i'm ready for bed I am ready for bed! I am O U T! Each night is different. It's highly annoying. I don't believe I will be taking it for much of my vacation. And that by the way is coming up fast! I am hopping this med , if it does work out for me, will not make me gain weight. That is why I am trying it. But is a side effect of it. uggg..isn't there such a thing as a good side effect?

I am back on Weight Watchers this week. I went off for 3 weeks and gained as much. I feel much better so I can work on myself image again. Last week I didn't go work out one single time. I plan on going tonight. I hope I make it! I don't feel that it really matters a bunch working out or not. But I like to go and I do have stronger arms for pump class. I just need my belly to take the hint as well and take a leave of absence. nough said..

This weekend started off a little shakey. I thought I would enjoy the long weekend more then I did. Saturday I was in such a fowl mood. Killian did for the first time ever stay with grandma and grandpa over night. It was his first time away from us. He had a very good time. He went to Sunday school with them on Sunday. He really liked it. I am glad he did cause you won't catch me in a church so he now has someone to take him. This may turn into grandma taking him every weekend!! How lucky am I? I know in the past I have said she would never get him. But after cleaning her carpets and threatning to never let him stay there again if she doesn't take better care of her house, well I think it worked. Saturday before we arrived she shampooed where the cat barfed...7 times on the floor!! She wouldn't have done this before.
That night we were planning on going to the movies. We couldn't go to a late one because she had Bailey too and we had to pick her up after the movie. Well we missed the movie :(. Wayne wasn't feeling so hot and I was in a awful awful mood. I didn't want to really go anyway. Odd for me to not want to go to the movies. But Wayne didn't help my mood much. We ended up going to PF Changs. We haven't been there one single time since we've been here. Wayne was going to eat nothing but fried rice. I was ready to go somewhere else if that was the case. He didn't end up eating rice at all. It turned out to be a lovely dinner and my mood lifted. I made him understand what I am going through and he excepted what meds I may have to change to. Before he told me if I gained a bunch of weight he wouldn't stay with me. what an ass.
Saturday ended much better. Killian was still gone for a good part of Sunday. So we cleaned some of the house and cleaned out a tone of Killians toys. We threw away so much crap!! Lots went to good will also. Then we reranged his room. It looks so clean and with more space now to play...and make a mess..I am hopping today (Monday)we can work on Baileys room. She has alot of stuff we are storing in her room. It is a small room as is and that stuff makes it even smaller. It keeps us busy and away from the tv. I wish we would have had at least one good day this weekend to do something outside. Maybe next weekend will be better.
Killian has 2 weeks of school left then a few days after off we go to see my Aunt! I haven't seen her since 2002 or 03. Wayne and the kids have never met her. It is way past time. She now lives in Oak Harbor wa. Before it was Alaska. Also she is only 5 1/2 hours from us. yippeeeee!! I am so excited! She is the best! If there were one person I wish I was like it would be her.
So can someone please tell me your'e reading this stuff or should I stop writing?

I have been so depressed the last couple of weeks. I have givin up my diet. I keep telling myself I will get back on track this week. So far I haven't. I have been so grumpy. I really want to go back on Zyprexa but it just isn't going to happen. Maybe if I ever reach my 125 pd goal I will give it another whirl. I am not even close at this point.
I have been feeling so low about myself. The kids have been really getting on my nerves. I don't much care about working out but am trying to force myself to go anyway. I have done that well enough. I just don't see what good it is doing me. My diet needs an overhaul but I need help with that. I hate cooking and so fast things are the way I am still going. I always think eating fresh sounds so good..until I buy the stuff..So I am at a loss on what to do about it. Did I mention how much I hate cooking? I feel bad for Wayne. He works so hard and I can't even give him a good meal to come home to. I haven't found any recipes on weight watchers that I like. So that isn't helping. I get so sick of looking too. I used to look often and try new things all the time. I just don't care anymore....I hate cooking!!!
I haven't kept my house the way I used to when we lived in Twin. It was always clean and nice. I just can't keep up here and dont really care. Same with the yard. It is just to much. I can however get things done when the kids aren't here. But that happens pretty much never. So things stay in constant chaos.
I do however still like my job. It has been fun. I wish I could get some more hours. I have so many things and places I would like to go this summer. I just don't think I can pull it off. I will try though. Vacation next month has me very stressd. I don't see it being much of one. There just isn't really any money. I told Wayne we will have to use my eye fund I have been saving. This sadens me alot but I really want a vacation. I have half my money saved for my laser surgery. I was hoping to have it this year. I don't see that happening if we use it for vacation. Oh well. I don't know what to think. I am a little sad either way. I either get a nice vacation and no eyes or I get eyes and no vacation. I wouldn't care so much but wayne really deserves a vacation. I don't know...
Bailey is doing so good wearing her big girl panties out and about. She is wearing pullups only during sleeping hours! I am so proud of her. She only pees her pants if shes upset and crying. Thats only happened twice.
well off to work out even though I am not sure I want to.