results

Well it's in..just a spasm..wow was that Dr. at the clinic off.. Wayne went to his Dr's appointment and the Dr. won't help. Wayne got nasty with her because he is in pain and they aren't doing anything! She wanted to do some more blood tests and he told her flat out no she wasn't looking in the right place. So yes back to ground zero so to speak. he does now have an appointment with a neurologist. It's not until April. I have no idea how to help him until then. Well there isn't anything I can do..except maybe bug the hell out of the Dr's. I have decided there just aren't any good Dr's here. I do like my kid peds Dr at least..lord knows hes like family it seems. I feel like i'm drowning. I can only describe this by saying Utah..I had such an awful life in Utah as a teen. But that's another whole story. I don't think I ever had any good teen years. Well I'm off to do something in my kitchen. Bailey's at school and I have a whole hour left to myself.

The end?

I think this may be my last blog. I think this kind of started out with me trying to help myself unload and let my friends know what's going on with me..I guess it's still that way right? well here is this weeks drama-Wayne has had very bad headaches for a very long time. years. Monday he just couldn't take it anymore and went to a quick care clinic. Let me step back for just a second-he has seen many many Dr's about this. All have said something along the same line as "oh it's high blood pressure" Or "oh you need a hobby" No these are not from to much stress or high blood pressure. Granted he does have lots of both but they are not the cause. So back to the clinic story-so he goes after work not wanting to spend anymore money on Dr's but he just plain out can't deal with the pain anymore-He tells the Dr. that those things above are what is always said and no one is helping him and he just can't take it anymore. Every morning he has to get up is a horrible thing. He is just ready to give up and die. He doesn't sleep add back, neck and head pain and it makes for a lousy life. The Dr. listened he actually listened!! He asked Wayne the questions that all Dr's ask and then asked about his hands. Again something all Dr's ask. But he listened and heard what Wayne was saying! Yes his hands always go numb! The Dr. said that just isn't right. No one's hands just go numb. Other Dr's would say oh it's how you rest your hands while driveing..ummm..wrong..This was a clue. The Dr had xrays done. NO DR. HAS DONE THIS! Here's the kind of funny part-I did not go with Wayne because of the kids-I see all the time at the Dr's office a member of the gym that I always have contact with. We text all the time and I watch her sweet babies at the gym. But I see her all the time at the Dr office. It's kind of embarrassing really. Anyway she is a xray tech. So kind of jokingly I texted her and asked if she was working. the answer-yup-so I said see my husband? (the clinic is across from the Dr's office and she does xrays for the clinic and everywhere and is why I see her all over the place because well..we visit so many Dr's) I THOUGHT I was being funny..little did I know that she had actually already been there and xrayed him. Or Wayne walked across the parking lot to her office..any which way she had seen him and I didn't know that. I said (still texting) sad huh? Meaning it's sad that one of us is at the Dr's AGAIN. I think that's when she was like uhh Star have you talked to Wayne yet? Just then Wayne called. Bad news. like there's any other kind. They found a chip out of his neck bone. most likely the cause. It's not good. We will find out more this afternoon. This could mean so many things. What all I am not sure but I am afraid to say what is floating around in my head. As my gym friend says and Wayne-don't freak out yet. well..to late. I already have Wayne in my head on disability and us living in the shit hole we've been living in for 3 years forever and everyone being cranky and sick because the place is full of mold..Bailey's breathing treatments have gone from 1 maybe 2 a week to up to 4 a day. It's all about the $$. I think by the time we are done with this year my guess is our medical debt will be around 10g's..shit..and still all unhealthy..and no home to call our own. So forgive me for never sounding happy. I just can't see the bright side of things anymore. Oh and what caused the chip? An old injury of some sort. It may have happened one night when he got drunk (like wayyyyyyyy long before we even met) and hurt himself and hardly remembered it or the bad dive he did in a swimming pool or maybe even when he got shocked changing a light and fell off the ladder and landed horrible. Something from the past is doing more damage now and we are just starting to find out what all the issues are. He goes to the Dr. in a hour and a half. If you guys want me to blog it let me know..

I don't know if this is worth keeping going. But here I am typing away at the moment..Big changes are taking place this year for us. I am losing weight. 8.5 pds so far. I am working with a friend who is crazy into health and fitness and is getting ready to do a weight lifting championship in Vegas. Hence why I need everybody to buy bows or blankets so I can earn my way with her! I am very excited to get the chance to go see a bunch of beautiful women who have worked on there bodies so hard...some a little to hard..but non the less I really want to go! I am working on changing my eating habits BIG time..it sucks..but I am tired of being fat and don't want to look like Wayne's mom who is HUGE...sad I know..I don't want to look like my mother either but at least shes not super fat! So I am changing my bad eating habits. Wayne is getting on board as well. He has gone to a dietitian..for him it's not going to well yet. I have a way strict diet Wayne just needs to learn to eat well and when to eat it.
We will be moving this year. As soon as we have around $5,500 saved. It doesn't feel like we will ever get there. We had half that saved two months ago and now it's gone. Christmas and life just sucked it away. Now that Christmas is out of the way we will be tighten the purse strings so to speak and counting our pennies. Wayne is the big spender so I will have to slap his hands allot.
Wayne is trying to quit chewing so I do give him credit for that. That will save us at least $120 a month plus!
Bailey's health needs to improve still. The poor things allergies are just awful and we blame this house for a big part of that. She is doing breathing treatments allot right now. We just moved her room around to get her bed away from the heat vent and window. Once we move I think her issues will let up. She will be going to an allergist next month. Not much is going on with Killian. He is growing! He gaining weight. Family members want us to think about the growth hormones for him. Yes he is small and I have talked to his Dr. already and at this point it is not a consideration. I don't know that I comfortable with it anyway. Oh he is allergic to milk again! OK so theres more going on with Killian then I thought. At least this milk thing is the milk and not the protein. Milk proteins are much harder to avoid. Poor Killian has pizza everyday at school. Not anymore! So tell me if this is worth keeping going.