I have been so depressed the last couple of weeks. I have givin up my diet. I keep telling myself I will get back on track this week. So far I haven't. I have been so grumpy. I really want to go back on Zyprexa but it just isn't going to happen. Maybe if I ever reach my 125 pd goal I will give it another whirl. I am not even close at this point.
I have been feeling so low about myself. The kids have been really getting on my nerves. I don't much care about working out but am trying to force myself to go anyway. I have done that well enough. I just don't see what good it is doing me. My diet needs an overhaul but I need help with that. I hate cooking and so fast things are the way I am still going. I always think eating fresh sounds so good..until I buy the stuff..So I am at a loss on what to do about it. Did I mention how much I hate cooking? I feel bad for Wayne. He works so hard and I can't even give him a good meal to come home to. I haven't found any recipes on weight watchers that I like. So that isn't helping. I get so sick of looking too. I used to look often and try new things all the time. I just don't care anymore....I hate cooking!!!
I haven't kept my house the way I used to when we lived in Twin. It was always clean and nice. I just can't keep up here and dont really care. Same with the yard. It is just to much. I can however get things done when the kids aren't here. But that happens pretty much never. So things stay in constant chaos.
I do however still like my job. It has been fun. I wish I could get some more hours. I have so many things and places I would like to go this summer. I just don't think I can pull it off. I will try though. Vacation next month has me very stressd. I don't see it being much of one. There just isn't really any money. I told Wayne we will have to use my eye fund I have been saving. This sadens me alot but I really want a vacation. I have half my money saved for my laser surgery. I was hoping to have it this year. I don't see that happening if we use it for vacation. Oh well. I don't know what to think. I am a little sad either way. I either get a nice vacation and no eyes or I get eyes and no vacation. I wouldn't care so much but wayne really deserves a vacation. I don't know...
Bailey is doing so good wearing her big girl panties out and about. She is wearing pullups only during sleeping hours! I am so proud of her. She only pees her pants if shes upset and crying. Thats only happened twice.
well off to work out even though I am not sure I want to.