The end?

I think this may be my last blog. I think this kind of started out with me trying to help myself unload and let my friends know what's going on with me..I guess it's still that way right? well here is this weeks drama-Wayne has had very bad headaches for a very long time. years. Monday he just couldn't take it anymore and went to a quick care clinic. Let me step back for just a second-he has seen many many Dr's about this. All have said something along the same line as "oh it's high blood pressure" Or "oh you need a hobby" No these are not from to much stress or high blood pressure. Granted he does have lots of both but they are not the cause. So back to the clinic story-so he goes after work not wanting to spend anymore money on Dr's but he just plain out can't deal with the pain anymore-He tells the Dr. that those things above are what is always said and no one is helping him and he just can't take it anymore. Every morning he has to get up is a horrible thing. He is just ready to give up and die. He doesn't sleep add back, neck and head pain and it makes for a lousy life. The Dr. listened he actually listened!! He asked Wayne the questions that all Dr's ask and then asked about his hands. Again something all Dr's ask. But he listened and heard what Wayne was saying! Yes his hands always go numb! The Dr. said that just isn't right. No one's hands just go numb. Other Dr's would say oh it's how you rest your hands while driveing..ummm..wrong..This was a clue. The Dr had xrays done. NO DR. HAS DONE THIS! Here's the kind of funny part-I did not go with Wayne because of the kids-I see all the time at the Dr's office a member of the gym that I always have contact with. We text all the time and I watch her sweet babies at the gym. But I see her all the time at the Dr office. It's kind of embarrassing really. Anyway she is a xray tech. So kind of jokingly I texted her and asked if she was working. the answer-yup-so I said see my husband? (the clinic is across from the Dr's office and she does xrays for the clinic and everywhere and is why I see her all over the place because well..we visit so many Dr's) I THOUGHT I was being funny..little did I know that she had actually already been there and xrayed him. Or Wayne walked across the parking lot to her office..any which way she had seen him and I didn't know that. I said (still texting) sad huh? Meaning it's sad that one of us is at the Dr's AGAIN. I think that's when she was like uhh Star have you talked to Wayne yet? Just then Wayne called. Bad news. like there's any other kind. They found a chip out of his neck bone. most likely the cause. It's not good. We will find out more this afternoon. This could mean so many things. What all I am not sure but I am afraid to say what is floating around in my head. As my gym friend says and Wayne-don't freak out yet. well..to late. I already have Wayne in my head on disability and us living in the shit hole we've been living in for 3 years forever and everyone being cranky and sick because the place is full of mold..Bailey's breathing treatments have gone from 1 maybe 2 a week to up to 4 a day. It's all about the $$. I think by the time we are done with this year my guess is our medical debt will be around 10g's..shit..and still all unhealthy..and no home to call our own. So forgive me for never sounding happy. I just can't see the bright side of things anymore. Oh and what caused the chip? An old injury of some sort. It may have happened one night when he got drunk (like wayyyyyyyy long before we even met) and hurt himself and hardly remembered it or the bad dive he did in a swimming pool or maybe even when he got shocked changing a light and fell off the ladder and landed horrible. Something from the past is doing more damage now and we are just starting to find out what all the issues are. He goes to the Dr. in a hour and a half. If you guys want me to blog it let me know..