ladeda

Wayne was able to make it to Bailey's graduation. Killian was awful like I figured he would be. Wayne's sister and husband took him to Costco afterward for pizza. Killian's choice. So we took Bailey out to eat. She choose Mcdonald's..yuck..She was so stinking cute doing her songs and stuff. It was unfortunate that my stupid camera sucked and I got no good pictures!! At least Wayne got to go and that made me very happy.
Vi is doing fine and at this time isn't getting a pace maker...at this time..this is good cause I am done posting crap.
Wayne didn't get the job in Spokane. It's a bummer but at the same time it fine cause now we don't have to leave his family. I have no one in Spokane. I am happy either way. We are trying at this time to get approved for a home loan. Keep your fingers crossed! I will be amazed really if we get it but will keep trying as many times as needed.
Wayne's health is still very bad. I may have to somehow hire someone to come do outside chores. Wayne doesn't have the energy on the weekends after the long work week to do what needs done. I still have a couch on my back patio that needs taken to the dump, weeds galore, and a yard to be mowed. That the only part I can do if someone starts the mower for me..and that doesn't happen. We are going to end up with all kinds of nasty crawly things.
I guess that about covers it for now. I know I've missed something for sure but this is the best I can do today..my ass is tired!

Here it is June 1st and things will change one way or another by the end of this month. Nothing has changed with Wayne or any of us. We have decided if Wayne does not get the job in Spokane that he has yet to apply for we will start looking to buy a home. I'm sure I've said all this but I never know whats really in my head and whats in my blog! Anyways Vi (my mother) has a weak heart. She may get a pace maker. We will know more about that this month. I'm sure most of you have guessed I have had issues with her for as long as anyone can remember. So to be the one letting "family" know what is going on with her has been a strange role. I considered going and helping her if she has the pace maker put in. I am thinking I won't need to. I don't want to. How awkward!!! So that's it. Not a bunch going on. I did promise I would report something good. I know it's not a whole page but None the less here it is!- Tomorrow is Bailey's preschool graduation. I have no idea what to expect. I am sad Wayne will miss it because of work but the rest of the family will be there :). I hope to report that Killian will behave at this function with no meltdowns! Keep your fingers crossed and wait for pics on fb!

hmmmph

I can't even remember half the stuff that's happened anymore. My brain has become so foggy. I can say that things with Wayne don't seem to be improving. hes supposed to go and get a new mask for his cpap machine because the other one isn't working for him at all. It's to bad. They want to put him on some kind of medicine that can only be taken if he can where the mask all night other wise it can cause death. I don't know what it's for but I don't want him to take it. We are worried he may not get to his nose fixed. it has to be done. He is going to apply for another job June. If he gets the job he can't do the surgery. He is upset about it. and he should be. He may never return to our bed :(. As for me I have my own issues still. I have been very tired. i am going to have blood work done to see if I am low on anything and to make sure my liver and kidneys are working right. I have been so tired I have gone to bed every night this week. I have a feeling tonight will be no exception. This does worry me. We have not been meeting goals we have set for each payday and it upsets me. But there isn't really anything that can be done. Killian was in the ER yesterday. we thought he had a concussion from an injury at school on Monday. They went as far as a CT scan because he was very lethargic. He hardly responded to getting needles and blood draws. The only thing that upset him was when they stood him up to try to get him to pee. It turned out his blood sugar was at 50. It's supposed to at least be 80. He hasn't been eating well cause of his medicine. He was also dehydrated. The CT scan showed a sinus infection. After some IV fluids and glucose he perked right up. we were able to leave around noon. It was such a long morning. Lots of tears for me. I have never seen Killian so weak. He drifted in and out most of the time. Bailey has been doing well. Her own problems are doing better even though she still has a few stomach aches. Life seems to always be hard and it's hard to look on the bright side. I am thankful I now have a car that is nice and runs. I do wish I could ride my bike to work. We don't live far but I can't do it. Gas is so horrible right now! Dip shits that make all us suffer for the $ in their pocket. Thanks Mr. President for helping out the people. I would like to know what good hes actually done. I say vote him out of office. I wonder if that can be done?? Any ways that is the life of Star for now. I promise one day i will write everything good!

I am getting so frustrated. I am tired of feeling more like Wayne's roommate. We don't sleep together..in ANYWAY. The kids drive me insane. Killian is doing great on his meds I do have to report. With out them He is uncontrollably bouncing off the walls. Bailey is Bailey. A little girl who throws BIG fits. Yesterday at work she was so upset at me for leaving her in the daycare room (to go get a mama who had a pee pee girl)the class in the studio (yoga of course) could hear her!! Lucky I hope maybe just the mama I was looking for. GRRRRRRRRRR. I need a small vacation on my own again. I am not really sure whered I'd go. Last year I went to Sand point to visit my Grandma. Now that she is gone I'm not sure what to do. Twin sounds o.k. except that is so far away. We will be going sometime in the near future but I will not get to really visit. Sucha shame, I really miss my friends there. It's so funny that I wanted to move so badly from there and now I just miss my friends so awful much. I did hate Twin Falls though. It felt so "toxic" to me. But I miss our house that was in Kimberly. It doesn't matter that it was to small. I loved it. We had everything painted and a new kitchen along with an additional living room. A shop for Wayne to dink around in. He is now talking about selling all his stuff because he doesn't feel he will ever get to use it again. I tell him no please don't do that someday we will have a house again with a shop. There is noway to replace those very expensive things.
He is hoping this summer to find a job in Spokane (lord I hope I'm not repeating myself a whole bunch!). It is very nice there but the winters suck. There is plenty more to do and much better shopping (like I need that right?). As far as his health I don't know what will happen. I worry about me as well. With the Dr saying again it is possible I have been misdiagnosed it's going to be a long road and I will always need a Dr and they cost allot! Up to $300 a session. With insurance it's just a copay. I'd have to go to the nut house other wise just cause I can't afford to go other wise!
I am sorry to say that the cat is for sure not going with us the next time we move. It has been a hard decision but this week I have made my mind up for sure. It has been a good 7 years with her (minus the barfing she does. She has begun to barf nearly everyday. I have watched this for awhile now but it is getting worse and I just can't listen to it anymore. The many things she has ruined because she throws up on it. Every night being woke up to her barfing or trying. All the sneezing she does. She wheezes and that is sounding worse. I can't afford a vet just yet but as soon as I can she is going..and most likely not coming back with me. I hope the kids will be o.k. she has grown up with Killian. I got her when I was pregnant with him. They are 5 months apart. I after this cat though will NEVER own another one. I always pick bad ones. Keep your fingers crossed for us that our luck will be as good as I hope it will!

just plain out tired

There has been so much I should be writing, or should have. Iv'e been so tired and haven't had the mind to sit and talk about anything.
I got a new car at last! it was so needed. I think I wrote about that. I never read my posts so tend to forget what ive said! So I will tell you I am still loving the car that iv'e had for less then a month.
Waynes health hasn't been the best still. The cpap machine isn't working that great. It lays on his nose making his nose hurt very bad. It doesn't matter what what type of thing he gets for for his mouth they all somehow lay on the nose. Wayne can't handle anything on his nose. He is able to wear it for a few hours but then has to give up on it. It isn't working and Wayne is going to stop wearing it after his next check up. That means we are back to square one. He doesn't care if something happens to him he isn't going to use the cpap machine. I can't make him.
He is back out on the couch. He got sleep in bed for two nights and I ended up on the couch. Wayne is shooting for having his nose fixed. we planned on that anyway. What worries me is he talks about having part of his palet removed to makeroom for his tongue. I doubt the Dr. will agree to this. I sorta hope he does. I can't imagine the pain he would be in.

whoop whoop

This weekend I got a car!! A Pontiac grandprix. I so love it!! It is great to at last have a car of my own. Very happy!
We were sooooo lazy about getting up Saturday morning. I had hoped to get up and out by 10. After the long long week we all wanted to sleep in. Ok well me and Wayne..so we did. It was after noon by the time we left. We stopped at one car lot and looked at one car. I test drove it without Wayne and the kids just the car salesman. It was great so BAM sold!! WE were the first ones to buy a car that day so they dropped the price by allot. It took no time at all and I drove away in my new pretty car. This is making life so much easier again! Have you ever had one car for two people that have two different days? It doesn't work!!! This week I have a crazy ass work schedule so it wouldn't have worked. Granted Wayne is the bread winner. I can not be a let down to my own job and kids. And now I have a car payment I get to make! Work I must work I must. It's all good I like my job!

O.k. Everyone we are going car shopping again this weekend. This one truck thing isn't working what soever. So once again we for sure are going Saturday to look for a car. I hope we find one except the thought alone tires me out.
I am so tired from what has been such a long week. So many Dr's visits and errands. The truck is such a gas hog and all this running around is killing me! I'll not complain though because my brain is to tired to think about such things that annoy me. So Instead I am off to do mindless laundry.