So you I am sure read that I got a new job. I now work at my gym in the daucare area. It is fun but also very boring. It can be trying to. There are just some kids I would like to bend over my knee!! Killian loves going when he gets to. Part of the reason I took the job is because it's the hours that hes in school. It's only a couple of hours a day. And thats good for me. Bailey has love hate relationship with daycare. to get her in the door is a nightmare. She hides behind the door and won't come out unless I carry her in. I always have a ton of stuff in my hands of course. Then when we get in she crys and crys and has a tantrum. She gets over it quickly..most of the time. Today was not one of those days. She was awful for at least....well almost the whole time really! I was holding a baby and she wanted me holding her. But there were so many kids that baby Jada wanted me. I loved it of course. The baby even fell asleep in my arms. How could I not love that? Bailey calmed down a little and tried touching the baby and cooed at her. I had to tell her to do something else so she didn't wake her. The minute I went to lay that cute little baby down she woke up. I would have loved to hold her longer but it was time for me to go. I was also ready to choke her brother. He is a very angery kid. I understand his acting out cause his parents are going threw a divorce..but I still can't stand the kid..
Working in the morning has killed my workout times. I work during my favorite morning classes..ALL OF THEM! I have had to start taking the night classes and so far hate it. I don't even make it to most of them. Good thing my member ship is free now cause I hardly get to go these days! O.k. it's just been the last couple of weeks being I havent been working there any more then that. I do like it there I just don't have anyone to work out with now. My friend Jelena trys her best to go with me but has a hard time making it in the evenings. Same as me.
As you might have read on the one statement I made on facebook before I earased it, my grandma is dieing. She has for the second time breast cancer. Shes had it for awhile but it has at last taken its toll on her body. She has 5 months left of her 92 years of life. I don not think I will go to her funeral. I do not want to see my family. I dread the day I see any of their faces again. I feel such hate towards them. I start feeling really mean whenever I think of them. They are not a happy thought for me. I am sad I can't go to my grandmas funeral...or I guess won't..but the living make things worse.
I am so grumpy lately. I would like to go back on zyprexa, I surprise myself saying that. But I am not fine with out it like I thought I was. But the weight gain is just to awful. Yet without it I feel awful all the time. So grumpy..I am not sure what to do. I think I would rather live with the weight gain. But Wayne wouldn't. great suport I have here at home. I guess I will have to continue being torchered.