How many times again?

I can't say I'm one of those highly cheerful people I know from work. Theres two kind-happy and deal with things (or appear to)well or the other-grumpy, complains, and doesn't deal with anything well at all..yup that's me. Every now and again I can be that first person but I find it very hard. Today is one of those days it is just a pipe dream. This week I had Bailey tested for mold. We found out that she has a high allergy to it. I now have two Dr's saying what we already know and are trying to do-move-. So far we haven't found nothing. This house is slowly killing us. That's what it feels like. In the 3 years we have been here each month gets worse and now I have more proof of that. It feels so awful to be so stuck. I want to try to rent something else and just give up on finding a house to buy. Everything feels so hopeless right now. Part of the other reason I feel so down is that Wayne is always gone working right now. This is the busy season for Wayne and we don't see him very often. When we do he sleeps nearly the whole time which is frustrating. He needs all the sleep he can get and I need help doing things I can't do and need him to do for me. It sucks so bad. I have been lucky in that Wayne's sister and husband have been able to help me for somethings. We would still be freezing had they not come over and yanked out the issue. I hate this house..I have been so down I have thought about taking my kids and going to stay with Vi..that's how bad things are. Mold, housing, health, lack of a partner. God it feels just like being a single mom with no benefits. Yup that's in there too, no sex. This time of year blows. I miss my kitty and hate that I always expect to see her still on my bed at night. I have even reached out to pet her. I hate that. I will never own another cat. Killian said he's getting a kitten for Christmas. I don't think so! So OK let me think of one good thing...hmmmm....no nothins comin to mind....hmmmm. OK I'll make something up..I have a roof over my head. I think that's kinda funny. It's a moldy roof but it's a roof non the less. A roof that is making us all sick but it's better then the homeless shelter...not really what I was lookin for but that's all I got in me...I'm going to bed...and have an awful night cause I can't take anything with Wayne gone and need something to help me sleep...well at least I have a bed to sleep in..right?